this just in

Today when I opened up my amazon.com homepage in order to look up a desk that would span my bathtub so I could write in the tub, I saw a ridiculous home page (I will scan images in later, promise). It prompted a lot of thought regarding my individuality, taste levels, cultural awareness, etc.

Don't worry. I'll explain.

I fixed my bike. My hands smell like bike grease but I am glad that I labored on the product myself. I do need to fix the breaks. Maybe I will learn how.

I am very surprised there is not a desk for writing over the bathtub. I may have to make one? Ask Bryan / Brian to make one? Hmm.

Alright. Shower, clean. Crazy keg party @ my house. Again, I mean. That's twice in three days.

What?

"blowout"

It is that lovely last day of classes also known as blowout. I need to post later to figure out what I did well this year and what I screwed up tragically, but right now I am studying for a test that I had put off studying for until now. It is in two and a half hours which is, in the great scheme of things, far too soon for me to do well. Alas.

five minutes of library paranoia rambling.

Sometimes I want to retreat into the life going on inside of my head and completely forget about everyone around me.

I really hate other people sometimes. I know hate is a strong word....and I know that anyone who knows me knows that I only very rarely allow this "hate" to escape into my daily life....but sometimes I can tell.

Today I am feeling extremely aggressive. I guarantee it's because we are in that lovely week that falls between Valentine's Day and my birthday, notably the most awful week of every other year of my adult life that I've participated in so far.

How do I feel this year? Like I want to retreat into a small space in my apartment, read 4 Harry Potter books, finish at least 2 significant books that I've been reading, scribble things into a journal, and wait for someone to notice that I've been missing for a few days.

But I, being a responsible "good kid" have classes, committments, and meetings that I am too lame to skip. I tried the whole "giving up" thing last semester. For two weeks I did absolutely nothing I was supposed to. Honestly, I felt motivationless, purposeless, and helpless.

I know that I wish that I wasn't motivated by all the "stupid" school shit I have to do sometimes....but I guess some motivation in some direction is better than being a stagnant pond of sloth.

The ideal would be doing without thinking....and thinking because it's fun....but somehow when I shut my body down, my mind soon follows.

Today I want to embrace something really good in life.
I may start with distillation. : )