funny faces

I'm really happy with where things are for me right now. I get scared to be happy though, so I never know how to interpret happiness. I've been feeling pretty heady these days....just a swelling feeling. There's been much more of an organic sort of process going on with my brain recently...I've actually been using it to do things I like. I wish I had gotten the hang of it a few years ago...I would have gotten a whole lot more done. I've been wondering what exactly has been the cause of it...and although I'd like to think it's because somehow I've improved as a person due to my own ability to control certain issues that I've run up against in the past, I'm hesitant to put that much faith in myself. I think more likely it has to do with medication. For anyone who has followed me electronically for a long time, you know that I've had one of those on-again off-again love hate relationships with a lot of medicine....Right now we're long-term off....and I'm happier than I've been in a long time and I'm tempted to chalk it up to that...but there so many other things that I've changed...for instance, not being in any sort of serious romantic relationship....I would really hate to think that single=stable because that would limit my life options a good bit.

I'm about to start a research project into clowns and the circus. When I say "reseach," I mean individual discovery process....Let me know if you're interested....if there's even a "you."