Cat people are crazy...

I don't have long, but I wanted to note that people in online chat rooms about cats can be crazy. I was looking things up because Bryan (the cat) isn't using her back foot right now. I'm giving it a day or two before I get too worried (mostly because I'm just too busy...) but I wanted to look into it.

This one woman was getting upset that this girl had outdoor cats. She said that it was inhumane and illegal for the cats to be kept outdoors during the winter. I mean, my family does the same and honestly, the cats are fine. Bryan generally prefers to be outside, even.

I mean, I guess I should have realized that for people to be in an online forum about cats they had to be pretty obsessed with cats....not just cat owners. But really? Keeping cats outdoors is inhumane. They're fucking mammals for goodness sake. For that matter, I am starting to think that keeping human beings inside is inhumane. If I had to be outside more often and was actually exposed to the environment on a regular basis, I don't think my allergies would be quite so bad. Anyhow, that's it for now. Go outside.

Tibet

I know I haven't posted on this blog in a while, but I am really interested in trying to keep all of my various electronic thoughts out there within their own spaces.

I wanted to talk about the situation in Tibet.

I was there last summer and visiting the holy city of Lhasa had a profound impact on me. I believe in the power of preserving Tibet and what it means not just for the Tibetans but for the growth of peace as an idea and practice. The Dalai Lama would be the man, if anyone can, to find some sort of peace within our contemporary times. I know there are some protesters who say that settling for peaceful occupation is not enough, and in a lot of ways I agree, but I hope that the situation will culminate in some sort of peaceful consensus instead of the demolition of a beautiful culture or a bloody combat between highly trained Chinese soldiers and the Tibetan monks.

I was sent this petition today, too, and since I think it's worth signing, here's the link.

and so...

I put adsense on this blog because I thought it could be a pretty sweet way to make a bit of money, and they say they're going to use advertisements that are relevant to your blog, so I was eager to see what the first one I had on mine would be. I was a little dismayed when I saw it was for baby clothes. And actually, since I just typed that, probably it will mean that it will be even more likely to be about baby clothes again, but I was a little horrified.

I'm not a mother. I'm not married. Hell, I'm not even dating anyone, so what sense do baby clothes make to me?

I guess I do talk about femininity and motherhood a lot because it's terrifying, but I guess it just goes to show that these bots that try to determine everything about you don't really always work.

Oh well, I'll just have to start saying random things like: sex toys, kittens, bicycles, gym equipment, textbooks, etc. to see if I can get it to change. Stay tuned for further detail.

should be "in" class

Well, I am sitting here in class but my mind is elsewhere.
It's a bit blank and tugging at its leash. My non-class days seem much more productive and worthwhile these days. Particularly with the work I am doing on my independent study.

I need to be getting more sleep, though.
Last night wasn't bad. I finished watching The Killing Fields before I went to bed. It was really good and worth staying up for. I didn't finish all of my work for today but I got a start on all of it, which is really all I could have asked for. Actually, I should be expecting more. With only Tuesday/Thursday classes, I should be doing all of my work all the time. I am lazy, though. I am definitely suffering the pangs of senioritis.

Alright. Class one is ending. I am going to have to update either this post or another post later, but for now I'll have to journey.

up too early

So strange for me to be up before 10 when I don't have any reason to be whatsoever. And I can't put my finger on anything. I went to bed late(ish) so certainly I'm not well rested. My only guess is that a) the sun is coming up a little earlier and b) there's someone sawing something loudly next door. Although, to be fair, that's been happening for the last two years, so nothing new there.

So, what did I do with my first hour of glorious awakeness? Well, I looked at all of Oxford's statistics, checked e-mail about 100 times, and played on facebook. The moral of the story is that I would have been better served, probably, by staying asleep. I'm a little confused, seriously, why that didn't happen.

All I know is that I'll probably need a nap later. Kind of boo.

And I really wish that I had spent that hour more meaningfully because I won't ever get it back and because I will probably do all those other useless things 300 times today, again. Alas.

But, whatever, I should be celebrating because I have nothing to do on Mondays and get to languish in bed for hours at a time doing worthless, trivial things that have nothing at all to do with anything. Sometimes it's great to be a fourth semester senior.

In other news: there isn't really any. My life is full, certainly, but not of the type of thing that usually finds its way to these pages. I realized that I usually post about the downsides...the negatives...the things I'm so frustrated about I feel like I can't actually share them with a real person. Since I've got none of those things to complain about, I have just been making random "aaaah" postings. While I'm sure these posts are fun for me to write, they don't really add much substance or demonstrate much of the joy and complexity of life to others. Suffice it to say that I feel like I should be writing about substantive things instead of nothing. I'll try, but I'm not saying everything.

I feel like, sometimes, the most worthwhile things in life are the ones we hold so close to our heart that we don't share them with people as a mass, just with the one or two other people to which they matter. I think that might be best about 98% of the time. The other 2% I feel like is what I should be writing about. I think the whole point of writing is to share beauty, splendor, wonder, and happiness with others. Especially once I've gotten some of it. These things, though, can be so elusive. And right now the things that make me smile are connected to things that are mine alone, so I'm going to take them, run with them (possibly even literally), and let you know when myself and things come crashing down. Hopefully, though, it will be laughing in the grass instead of sobbing on the pavement, but I still think either is worth a journey full of meaning, exchange, and growth.

All endings are happy if you believe in the power of the story that brought you there.

And right now, I do.

Hello, I love you...

Good morning, morning. It's afternoon, actually, but I just finished with Sunday brunches.

I had a fabulous weekend. All said and done, I got ahead of schedule in life and happiness. I was bursting for a pretty good amount of it.

I'm starting to finally notice physically that I've been working out every day. I did actually feel more tired at the gym yesterday than usual, but in a good way, I think. My muscles are feeling more in tune with each other and with use. I think, though, that I'm going to start going to yoga with one of my girlfriends because I'm absolutely certain I need to be moving my body in new, different, more full ways. Not being a dancer anymore, I miss the rigor of perfecting each movement.

I discovered a new poetry book last night by Kim Addonizio. I'm really enjoying it and I even e-mailed her and asked her whether she'd consider coming to speak. Who knows if she'll actually get back to me, but I really like what she's saying and how she's saying it in some of her poems. I got it off of my friend's bookshelf, but he found it in the small publisher and out of print section at a huge bookstore/warehouse in Portland. In one of her poems she writes about Virginia, so I'm interested to know more. I'll keep you updated.

In other news, smiling and happiness are enough sometimes. I'm getting there more and more every day. After all, when all is said and done, what do I really have to be sad about? I have incredible friends who I would do anything for and who would do anything for me and that's honestly half the battle. Thank you to all of you who are. You are more to me me than I could have expected.

spare change

I am usually sad when I go to read my favorite weblogs and they've not been updated in a while, so when, today, none of them had been, I decided to update my own instead. Not quite as good, but almost and it will have to do.

I just got back to the gym. I've been running at least a mile every day. Today, though, is laundry day and I didn't have a sports bra. Note to self: next time just wear a dirty sports bra. I couldn't even run fast because my boobs were bouncing all over the place.

Ah, femininity.

It's Friday. Friday's are my days. I really had hoped to be super productive, but I wasn't really. I did do some laundry, which was desperately needed, and cleaned my house a little. It needs to be cleaner, but one step at a time will have to be the going rate.

I did listen to some new albums, though. Who knew that I had Bob Dylan's greatest hits on vinyl. I completely forgot! I am kind of sad that I won't be able to take my records with me next year. They kind of rock my life and it won't feel the same without them. On the other hand, I'll probably be in a much smaller room. Actually, now that I'm in, I might go looking for more information about my potential colleges.

OH, by the way (ps) for those of you who don't know...I got into Oxford (yes, in England) for Graduate School in Women's Studies. I am ecstatic. Really.