spare change

I am usually sad when I go to read my favorite weblogs and they've not been updated in a while, so when, today, none of them had been, I decided to update my own instead. Not quite as good, but almost and it will have to do.

I just got back to the gym. I've been running at least a mile every day. Today, though, is laundry day and I didn't have a sports bra. Note to self: next time just wear a dirty sports bra. I couldn't even run fast because my boobs were bouncing all over the place.

Ah, femininity.

It's Friday. Friday's are my days. I really had hoped to be super productive, but I wasn't really. I did do some laundry, which was desperately needed, and cleaned my house a little. It needs to be cleaner, but one step at a time will have to be the going rate.

I did listen to some new albums, though. Who knew that I had Bob Dylan's greatest hits on vinyl. I completely forgot! I am kind of sad that I won't be able to take my records with me next year. They kind of rock my life and it won't feel the same without them. On the other hand, I'll probably be in a much smaller room. Actually, now that I'm in, I might go looking for more information about my potential colleges.

OH, by the way (ps) for those of you who don't know...I got into Oxford (yes, in England) for Graduate School in Women's Studies. I am ecstatic. Really.

this just in

Today when I opened up my amazon.com homepage in order to look up a desk that would span my bathtub so I could write in the tub, I saw a ridiculous home page (I will scan images in later, promise). It prompted a lot of thought regarding my individuality, taste levels, cultural awareness, etc.

Don't worry. I'll explain.

I fixed my bike. My hands smell like bike grease but I am glad that I labored on the product myself. I do need to fix the breaks. Maybe I will learn how.

I am very surprised there is not a desk for writing over the bathtub. I may have to make one? Ask Bryan / Brian to make one? Hmm.

Alright. Shower, clean. Crazy keg party @ my house. Again, I mean. That's twice in three days.

What?

distant galaxy update

I feel like it has been a while since I've actually sat down to this thing just to type and not to say something really specific.

I guess it's because I have been super busy with work and I feel like the last few days, maybe even since I first got sick last Thursday, have been a blur.

**Note: I just replaced the elipses I had placed around the clause in the middle of the above sentence with commas because I hate the way that technology degrades our language.

Right now I am running myself a bath and sitting down to plan the rest of the week before I call it a night. The fact that I can do that is marvelous!

I've been so sick that I've been in bed for a large amount of the time the last few days. I have gotten up to go and do important things, but I'm starting to feel a little lazy. Actually, I think I'm going to go work on a paper for finals instead of sitting here and doing nothing. I know it's kind of beside the point that I made earlier that I would relax....but when motivation strikes, you have to take it.

piercing scream

today is one of those days where I have to remind myself repeatedly, again and again, my life is not determined by external factors.

but I'm taking things one step at a time.

and I'll get to the end of the day.
and hopefully have done everything that needs to get done.

It's prime list making time.

Peace out.
SA meeting to attend to.

sleepy time t

I watched Rushmore tonight with Valeria, etc. It was REALLY good. I realized that I have got to keep getting good movies in the mail and actually watching them. I stopped doing this for a while earlier this semester and it meant that I never really thought about film but I really like film--well made films are beautiful to watch and have plenty of witty banter upon which to dwell. That is why I must keep watching them.

I cleaned tonight. Organizational, almost compulsive cleaning. I did the same thing last night when I watched Prince of Egypt with Jeff. I guess that's what "keeping house" is...being obsessed with things being in their place to the point that I sometimes waste time doing it. Although I wouldn't say a clean space is a waste of time.

*Yawn* I stayed up way past my bedtime tonight getting work done. I realized that I pretty much have at least one major thing to do or that is due every single day for the rest of the semester. Yikes! I also have a final paper due on Friday that I'm just not sure I can do. I wasn't really paying attention to how soon it was due. I haven't asked for an extension for anything all semester...so I really hope that I can get one, but I still always hate to ask. Maybe my professor will let me write on Fight Club the film rather than Fight Club the book, which would make it way easier.

Also, I was listening to Gregorian Chants on album while writing this post. It was PRETTY ridiculous.

i of the tyger

eI, again, did not accomplish half of the things I needed to get done. I skipped classes to do them, and instead went back to sleep which was rewarding but not that enlightening. Also, it did not make my space any cleaner.

Now it is 12:40 and if I want to get to my 1:00 class on time ish, which I do, I have to neglect my duties in order to focus on my personal appearance for 20 minutes. It's 4/20 and a Friday. I want as many things about my body to be ridiculous as possible.

Alright, that might be stretching it a little bit.

I wonder how many people read this and think they know me but don't tell me they read it. I only read about four peoples livejournal/blogs religiously, and only snoop onto others when it seems inevitable...in which case I generally don't go back to keep reading them. Mine, however, is linked in my Facebook profile which is an expanding world of anonymity...a place where you, to quote MTV..."think you know but you have no idea."

12:42. My ability to look ridiculous has already been impeded. Must go.

Addition: Upon going back and actually linking, I realized that I only read about 3 people's blogs religiously. The fourth one would be mine which I do actually reread about as often as I post. Well, something like that.

happy endings

I couldn't really be more pleased with the way today and yesterday went.

Of the 110 things I needed to get done around the house, I think I accomplished like 35, which is a lot. Laundry, watering plants (the inside ones, obviously with all this rain!), dishes, coffee, trash, recycling, kitty, fridge, more kitty, more laundry, and more trash. That's not 35, but believe me when I say that I feel just as productive.

I am feeling alright about Chemistry...which, actually, is better than feeling confident, since I'm sure I will actually pay attention to what I'm doing rather than feeling cocky or whatnot.

I watched a fabulous movie and took a three hour nap instead of stressing out.

I danced a lot and had fun on Saturday with two of my favorites and said some pretty sentimental things to people who will appreciate them.

My only regret is that there are some people that I just can't read. And sometimes I get frustrated because I really, and I mean really, like to know what's going on.

My cat is going insane. I'm going to bed.

my cat sat on a flowerpot

I came home today to find my new plant, a really nice flower, flattened. At first I was devestated because I was sure that I had killed my plant. For me, killing something is terrifying since it implies that I may never be able to successfully nurture. Most women, I've learned are Feelers and not Thinkers. I am a thinker which is often translated as "bitch," or "cold." It makes me worry that any efforts I have as a parent will be inadequate....unless, of course, I find a male feeler...anyways, to make a long story short, I finally realized that I hadn't killed my plant. My cat killed my plant...or at least made a good attempt. If I hadn't gotten there when I did, it's pretty clear that plant would have had to get put into the trash....as it is, I salvaged it, I think.

The truth is, I like being domestic. I like turning things on and off, running a bath, doing chores. I would be content to hang out in my apartment and do these things all day. Sadly, I'm the type of person that really does believe, at least to some extent, that I'll be better off with a college degree from a prestigious university. Thus, here I am, getting that degree. Really though, I feel like I probably learn much more on my own...which makes me wonder why I've really decided to subject myself to approximately 10 more years of this. I really don't think it's a great idea, but alas, here I go.

I often wonder why I check people's away messages so often...and I think I may have figured it out. Obviously, other than the fact that I get lonely sometimes, I am really not looking to see what they're doing....I think that I'm hoping to discover some sort of secret wisdom in their away messages and profile quotes. It would be way better to read a book, but now that time moves so quickly, it's impossible (alright, difficult) to find enough free time. Here's my thought process:

Everything moves more quickly now specifically since the creation of the Internet.
When I want to talk to someone in writing, I don't write a letter, I text/IM/facebook message them. Sure, the phone is, I guess, the intermediate between snail mail and electronic communication, but I think the telephone falls in a different realm of communication altogether. The phone made more accessible those "face to face" conversations you need to have with someone in order to be able to hear their tone and inflection. So, rather than driving to see them, you can call them....so I guess there are steps pushing our interactions towards rapidity on both planes....the quickness of communication makes everything else travel a little more quickly too. Sometimes, I think, even the speed at which we are expected to work, now that we're doing everything in word processors rather than on a typewriter or by hand, has increased. Electricity and the 24/7 availability of the Internet means that my "work day" sometimes lasts from 7 AM- 2 AM. Yes, I realize that's only 5 hours of sleep. I am, after all, in college. During this work day, I ought to be, of course, working. This means looking things up, reading for class, writing papers, contributing to my community in a meaningful way, etc. Any time that I do have "available" is generally spent responding to electronic messages since I am not expected to recieve and respond to mail once per day as with snail mail, but instead multiple times. If I recieve an e-mail in the morning, I am expected to respond by noon. If I recieve a response by 3, I should respond by dinner time and expect an answer by 9ish. Of course, depending on whether the correspondent is a professor or another student, this back and forth may continue until 2 in the morning. In fact, without my multiple responses, some people would worry that they were being ignored and their words were going unheard. Also, because the Internet makes us available to everyone at all times, the group of friends with which we are, to an extent, expected to stay in contact expands exponentially. Even though these are "social obligations," they are still obligations....unlike pleasure listening or reading or napping, etc. All of these things together make me want to:

move to a cabin in the woods near a lake
have electricity since I really do believe it's useful and I like to be awake at nighttime
own an Internet-less computer (yeah....I can't do away with the word processor)
have a great library
and go into town 1-3 times a week

Honestly, the only deterrent is that I don't want to be doing this all alone.

Although I'm starting to think that I could do this alone.

"I am a rock. I am an island.
I have my books and my poetry
to protect me." -Simon & Garfunkel