sleepy time t

I watched Rushmore tonight with Valeria, etc. It was REALLY good. I realized that I have got to keep getting good movies in the mail and actually watching them. I stopped doing this for a while earlier this semester and it meant that I never really thought about film but I really like film--well made films are beautiful to watch and have plenty of witty banter upon which to dwell. That is why I must keep watching them.

I cleaned tonight. Organizational, almost compulsive cleaning. I did the same thing last night when I watched Prince of Egypt with Jeff. I guess that's what "keeping house" is...being obsessed with things being in their place to the point that I sometimes waste time doing it. Although I wouldn't say a clean space is a waste of time.

*Yawn* I stayed up way past my bedtime tonight getting work done. I realized that I pretty much have at least one major thing to do or that is due every single day for the rest of the semester. Yikes! I also have a final paper due on Friday that I'm just not sure I can do. I wasn't really paying attention to how soon it was due. I haven't asked for an extension for anything all semester...so I really hope that I can get one, but I still always hate to ask. Maybe my professor will let me write on Fight Club the film rather than Fight Club the book, which would make it way easier.

Also, I was listening to Gregorian Chants on album while writing this post. It was PRETTY ridiculous.

loud noises!

The fact that there was a major storm last night that shook my windows and kept me awake did not deter the people working on the house next to me from coming in to work today. On the contrary, they were in to work even earlier and they shouted even more.

One man was even heard to shout, "I will follow you anywhere."

I did realize, though, that if I start listening harder, I may pick up some Spanish by the end of this.

In other news, I was afraid of my dreams last night. They weren't nightmares, so to speak...but I kept waking myself up for fear of knowing what happens next.

Alas.

happy endings

I couldn't really be more pleased with the way today and yesterday went.

Of the 110 things I needed to get done around the house, I think I accomplished like 35, which is a lot. Laundry, watering plants (the inside ones, obviously with all this rain!), dishes, coffee, trash, recycling, kitty, fridge, more kitty, more laundry, and more trash. That's not 35, but believe me when I say that I feel just as productive.

I am feeling alright about Chemistry...which, actually, is better than feeling confident, since I'm sure I will actually pay attention to what I'm doing rather than feeling cocky or whatnot.

I watched a fabulous movie and took a three hour nap instead of stressing out.

I danced a lot and had fun on Saturday with two of my favorites and said some pretty sentimental things to people who will appreciate them.

My only regret is that there are some people that I just can't read. And sometimes I get frustrated because I really, and I mean really, like to know what's going on.

My cat is going insane. I'm going to bed.

because my fingers are moving

I live in filth and revel in infamy.
If it's an important weekend, guaranteed I have my period.
I don't know the word tact, and I cross the line at least once every 12 hours.
I surround myself with people who are as screwed up on the inside as I am.
They just don't all know it yet.
But the best ones do.

I love pirates and postcards and practically anything that starts with the letter p except perhaps penis, since I prefer other words like cock and dick. Penis just sounds so polite.

I hate waking up in the morning, but love going to bed because it's warm and snuggly. I thrive on fog as long as it's pretty and light rain as long as the sun in shining. Take me to any body of water, I will make myself happy.

I re-evaluate my life on a daily basis and find out that usually I'm just treading water until I actually get it right and decide what I want to do.

Science excites me.

Traveling is the root of all good and all evil for me-- I can't get enough, but I never seem to enjoy it enough while I'm there. Being abroad is a smattering of memories, and I can't hold on to any of them.

I update sporadically, and I don't really care because this is just one way I file myself down when I'm feeling rough around the edges.

I write poetry and prefer parsnips to french fries when I'm eating a steak. I like blue cheese on top, but not by itself. My favorite meal involves mashed potatoes and meat, and I would be completely content to live off of those two things for the rest of my life, as long as you throw in a vegetable.

I love run-on sentences and write train of thought and left a lot of my heart in the south, even though I never want to be considered southern. But I do say "heaven forbid."

I am adept at understanding any rapid sort of lyric from my early obsession with beat poetry and my dedication to having a functional relationship with the English language in all of it's forms. Screamo, however, is often too much for me to decipher.

About half of the time I feel so full of life I want to explode, and the other half I feel so completely drained that even sleep takes effort. I hate and love medicine because I love the quick fix, but hate the stigma.

I hate being a woman because I hate most women and a lot of the things that we (I will include myself) feel is necessary in life. We judge and mean it, we gossip and don't mean it, and we take anything anyone else says regarding ourselves way too seriously. I mean, really, boys talk about each other all of the time, and it's endearing. What sorts of social lessons are women missing out on that makes us somewhat non-functional beings from time to time?

But I would hate to be a man because they are, largely, completely devoid of sexual power. And I may never be a CEO, but I do know how to use the fact that I'm a woman to get my way.

I like crying at the end of bad movies. I love foreign films. Video games are a part of my daily ritual. I am self-assured, but accused of being selfish. I truly don't care a lot for other people, but only because, in general, they are not much concerned with me. When I have a real friend, I get upset at every tiny bit of frustration they have and only want to fix things to make them better.

I have a love/hate relationship with the idea of becoming a parent, but I am almost certain it's inevitable.

I can not see myself in ten or twenty years.

But I look happy when I'm eighty and talking to a man with large ears.

here my motor purrs

there's a fine line between desperate and romantic. scenario once: the girl says: I have loved you from the moment I've seen you, and I think you're the one. the guy says: oh my god. you are a complete creep and I never want to see you again. get away from me. scenario deux: the girl says: I know this more than I've never known anything, that if there ever was a right one for me, you are it. I love you. the guy says: I feel completely the same way. thank you so much for being the perfect person and for loving me. let's get married.

fine line: being able to weigh the odds, play the game, and maintain a proper balance of your affections in line with the one to which they are directed.

If you play it wrong, you lose completely and usually end up single with a reputation for being crazy. Play it right, you end up married. Sometimes people say love operates in many shades of gray. Sometimes I even say it. But I'm starting to think that it's much more black and white.

I prefer to write about it in colors, so I'm off to dream.

what's good for me?

Current Mood: binary

drinking isn't? I don't know what is though. Love, love isn't good for me. It fills me up with worthwhile sentiments and then dissappears leaving me with all sorts of thoughts and feelings that I then, of course, just peddle off on someone else. being manipulative. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Good when I get what I want, bad when I realize how I've gotten what I wanted and it makes me a bad person. good= friendships with girls that don't hurt anyone. bad= friendships with boys that make me unsure of what the word "friend" entails exactly. good equals bottled water and showers, bad equals my room being messy for the first time this semester.

I'm going to be in bed all day reading. I guess that's worth something.

Currently Reading: He Knew He Was Right, Anthony Trollope